One thing I really hate about my high sensitivity: random panics. When I’m asked a question and the person clearly expects me to know the answer, I panic. Should I know? Do I know? Have I forgotten? Gaaah! If it turns out I do know, I need a bit of time to get my head into order after the sudden disturbance that is a question. If I don’t know the answer, I’m fairly certain it’s just because I’ve bloody forgotten and feel so very embarrassed.
For the past few months, I’ve been watching nothing but reruns of my favourite old TV shows. I’m burnt out on lockdown and worry and not seeing my parents and not being able to plan and having something to look forward to and I don’t need need the wonder and anxiety of novelty: what I need is comfort so shut up about Wandavision and bring on the Golden Girls. *bundles up in a blanket*
Look, I do tell lies. I think being truthful at all times would be an unmitigated disaster. If someone asks me what I think about their new dress – which, to my taste, is the most hideous piece of clothing I’ve ever seen – and they obviously LOVE their new garb, I’m going to say “ooh, wow, where did you buy it?” in my most enthusiastic voice. My opinion doesn’t matter and was not the point of the question anyway: the point is that they have a new dress, are very thrilled with it, and want to share their excitement.
Do note, however, that I would not say “ooh how beautiful, I want one too”. I do try to lie as little as possible.
At work I really enjoy helping colleagues and training volunteers, but then I burn out on people and bury myself in my office in registers and website code and statistics. And I really enjoy working with registers and code and statistics, but then I get bored and want to get out my office and help people. Rinse and repeat.
I put it to you that board games are not a fun, relaxing way to spend time, but a stressful minefield of possible !mistakes!, !wrong choices!, and !embarrassments!.
